Motherhood
The first month of motherhood was tough..never had i faced such uphill task of trials and errors, there are no fix rules and know-hows of the game. have i lost my intuition and sense? am i losing it? do i have postnatal blues? i felt guilty that i harboured thots of having my old life back, the days of uninterrupted sleep, carefree life. my window of activites are now limited to only 2hrs in between feeds, however mostly it will be punctuated by her screaming for comfort or frightened.
I was so exhausted just breastfeeding and coping with lack of sleep.
Breastfeeding - my milk supply came in only around the 6th - 7th day and can see baby was losing weight which broke my heart. i hv no choice but supplement with formula milk else she'll be screaming at the top of her lungs. Hour by hour, i diligently massage and apply hot compress to my breasts until my hands are tired and exhausted.At long last, the milk came but i was so engorged and painful , it was massage and hot compress again. I was so close to giving, my lower back and wrists hurt frm the constant nursing. At least she's suckling well at last.
Sleep
My eye rings got darker, do i need to say more? Never would i have imagine interrupted sleep could be so tedious. In between baby waking up every 2-3 hrs for feeds, you have to coax her to sleep for 20mins, change her diapers if soiled/wet, if she wakes up in fright & crying, bright-eyes as she dont know day from night... and all you have left is a paltry few hrs of sleep.
The whole 3hr feeding/sleeping baby cycle just repeats itself day after day, night after night. No wonder mothers could lapse into self-despair...kept telling myself to grit and get past this phase.
Out of nowhere, in the 3rd week, baby's nose was plugged with mucus that she couldnt breathe properly esp when it interrupts her sleep & feed, she burst into angry cries every 30mins, adding to the toil...even at night. Doctor's medication doesnt help until i twirled out the glob of greenish mucus. By this time, she was truly upset and angry.
Mother & Baby
15 things you never knew about Motherhood (Mother & Baby magazine)
01 There is no greater pleasure n life than delicately extracting a booger from baby's nose
(YES! i still can feel the euphoria of twirling out the hard & soft booger..)
02 You can sniff out another baby's dirty diaper from 20m away but you're certain your own baby's poop doesn't smell at all
(not true la, my girl's poop is VERY smelly)03 You'll be a pro on hairstyles that hide the fact you havent washed your hair in a week
(yes, i cut my hair short to aviod this frm happening)04 All these beautiful wooden toys you lovingly chose for your baby will be abandoned in favour of a mountain of plastic crap with flashing lights (i refused to buy toys until i was exhasuted from entertaining her all the time, i bought a few toys in the hope to distract her)
05 At some stage, every parent forgets to put a diaper on their baby before dessing him...and faces the consequences
(YEs, she projectile sprayed shit within the first week)06 You'll never listen to your own CDs in the car again - its nursery rhymes all the way (havent yet but i recorded all nursery & music in my ipod)
07 You'll scream at your baby for screaming - then burst into tears becos you feel guilty
(yes i admit, i felt so helpless and sorry after tt)08 Its impossible to carry an umbrella and push a stroller (yet to experience but a baby carrier is sooo useful)
09 U'll become immune to bodily fluids.Vomit on your shoulder?Just dab with towel and noone will notice
(yes, i cant be bothered to change my top eventually)10 You'll sing. All the time. From getting dressed in the morning to unloading the dishwasher at teatime, there's a ditty for every occasion. (yes i build up my songs frm young & i finally used them, but i got sore throat from singing too much one day)
11 U'll suddenly understanding why lioness kill anything tt comes near their young.
(my sister witnessed my killing a mosquito in my rm with a vengence)12 U will hv blazing row with your spouse who is more tired..(YES!!)
13 And actualy start to envy him for going out to work. An hour's lunch break and opprtunity to drink a still-hot cup of coffee? Lucky devil
(i actually do look forward to working & socialising)14 There's no such thing as socks tt stay put (single sock & mitten found on floor/bed/cot/chair, just not on her)
15 U'll understand motherhood is the most difficult, exhausting,confusing and frightening job known to womankind - but its the most fulfiling thing u'll ever do.
(Cannot be any truer)
Third Trimester
The heaviest i ever felt, i weigh 62.5kg full term, an additional 12.5kg load. The nesting instinct sets in pretty late for me, i only manage to buy baby's stuff well into my 7-8months.
My 3rd trimester is characterised by the usual symptoms, starting to get heavy, achy and grouchy cos didnt sleep well. One day, i was my usual lethargic & tired self walking frm MRT to office,suddenly i felt cold, urge to sit down (like sitting on the floor also can kind) and lightweightedness..i made my way to my office reception and sat there for 10mins..i had anemia and lack of iron causes such this, i got a scare and started popping iron tablets alongside with the millions supplements i was already taking. I was transform from someone who cannot swallow half the smallest pill to multi-pills popper at one go.
Workload also start to tripled suddenly with the recession glooming, coupled with family issue. Furthermore placenta ageing, fluid decreasing, weight of baby not increasing, you can guess my stress level hit sky high....the induction date sets to be in early Jan....
I discovered that i didnt take a lot of pictures when i was pregnant and majority belongs to other folks except me! anyway i love the family photo i took when my bro has his convocation pics taken, when i was 4 months old... and my bro was really taking a real call...the photographer captured all this impromtu...
Confined!
Think being an Asian woman is tough, besides having to battle with baby issues in the first month, we have to be confined and go thru the formalities of confinement, it's such A PAIN!
i defiantly
- bathe (in super warm/hot herb water in hot afternn) everyday tho both mum & nanny drew the line at washing hair.
- wore sleeveless top & short shorts cos its so hot!
- blow fan directly at me
- carried & potter stuff around the room
- bend/squat/lie up and down when i like it
on the other hand, I obediently
- wore bedroom slippers so i wouldnt touch the cold floor
- eat confinement food (which was yummy so bearable)
- not wash my hair for a few days
- not eat CNY goodies
- not eat 'cooling' food
- drink ONLY red date water & milo/ovaltine ( and to drink it sitting down! cannot stand)
-wash my face/hands in warm boiled water
Managing the nanny can also add to the stress as dealing with a stranger in the house and being the control freak, i seek to know why and what she's doing to my baby constantly, even at night..adding to my lack of sleep. No wonder people sacked their nannies...BUT i must admit some help is better than no help, and gradually i relied on her to do most stuff & let go of the control freak nature in me, however she has inculcated all the wrong sleeping habits to baby.
