Last Few Days Of Nua-ing
Enjoying the last few days of my 6 mths break...doing what? shopping for office clothes and realise some of my bags have sort of 'disintegrated' and need to be replaced back BUT $ is in short supply, need to ration it out so decided to just get some tops..wandering around in Orchard,taking in the slow pace of life for a while...lounging on my sofa...staring at the TV...sleep in late...have breakfast in shorts & tshirt on a weekday, catch movies in the afternoon
Regret I couldn't go riding today cos it RAINED!! *Upset*
Been excited and anxious at the same time to start work soon...missed the 'i feel important and it makes a difference to the society' feeling...too long being a homely person makes me feel like a parasite who forgot how to walk. How fast that 6 mths flew past just like dat, left my 7yrs job & my colleagues..and all...so fast yet i'm glad that most of my colleagues have kept in touch and nary have i felt distance from them, if not, think we were closer cos we made an effort to meet more often outside office and bonded through sports even more, tho u can say my visits back to office will be drastically close to zero.
But one thing for sure, my bank account is surely the happiest..cos its going into deficit soon... its a miracle how my colleague, G can maintain for a year w/o a job...At first, we started off with tai tai lifestyle, eat high teas, go shopping and what nots..now 'kiam kanna' (sour olives) counting on every cent, take bus/mrt no matter how late, as long as can take the last service, or opt for the cheapest food around, shopping is no longer so fun...
AHM
A bit used to waking up early in the morning to get ready for a run...laid out my running gears, prep stuff to bring, have my milk & cereal & wait for call....hm...
Can't believe it's been a year since I ran AHM, totally different experience though yes, still surrounded by army boys all around!! a bit intimidated and put-off initially...bit sceptical whether can i run since longest distance i clocked were 10k last week for Real Run..my timing has improved and within my expectations..thanks to my pacer who jogged with me patiently :) ..
Route was different, actually i cant rem the previous ruote..this yr... we ran shenton way, sheares bridge, exit fort road, east coast, u turn, mountbatten, nicoll highway, middle road, bencoolen, parkmall, clemenceau, havelock (?), tiong bahru pao (accordingly to su min, tho i was too tired to notice), then cantonment (fyora massage..hah), neil road (kenko massage), boat quay, parliament house (i nearly collapsed!!)...glad i pushed myself a little harder for this run, think i shld train up my stamina even more...if i nd to clock a better timing for marathon at the end of the yr..Drinks were sufficient this yr, no more disgusting milo served along route...
Think i'm more used to longer runs, not so tired, recovered faster, muscles dun ache so much...oh, i must say i'm so proud of my dear little sister who signed up last minute for the 10km run wif Shy Rainbow...
and completed her first 10km in 1h 20 mins!! YAY!! she's now hooked onto running and looking out for running events..and even willing to sign up 21km for StanChart in Dec...and proud of my dear friend (S.R) who completed her second 10km run within 2 weeks...
Yes, i have a hearty appetite after that and I FINISHED my bowl of noodles!!!! and i munched on snacks after that..
Cycling Day & Reflections?
Today provided free labour for Terra then subsequently went w claudia to look for 3 jogging gals in macritchie...instructor, MsK & CJ...Judging from their jogging finesse, 10km to them is chicken feed so we expected them to be back at the carpark at ard an hr...and we were speculating which direction they'll be jogging back..then claudia got an sms frm them stating that they were lost! LOST! how can it be, they like jogged there for dunno how many times..never mind..so they managed to hitch a ride..wevexpected to see a car..THEN..we saw 3 heads bobbing up & down from the back of a lorry...HAHAHAHA.. so not 'SUD' loh...Eat at Longhouse & Cycling in West Coast Park...really glad of the ride even tho it's a short one..Claudia gv us cycling101 and made us do cone drills...like cycling :) so when's the farm ride?Chatted wif MsK and both of us agreed that this 6 mths hiatus we took has sort of created an impact on our lives...maybe it's really life-changing (at least for me?) so many things and events have happened over the past 6 mths that have created a long lasting impression, my travels and happenings...even the bonding between friends took on greater meanings. We realise we appreciated our lives more, treasured our friends, surroundings, loved ones even more. Really glad I took this break, even though I have lost some income amidst other things, I don't think I will lose the lesson I have learnt for the past 6 mths...
Good Karma
Tho i'm no religious person, i'm more drawn to Buddhist teachings these days. One of my friends forwarded me this which i find certain teachings quite meaningful...
1. Take into account that great love & great achievements involve great risks
(but how many pple is willing to take such great risks nowadays to experience grt love or achievements?)2. When you lose, don't lose the lesson
3. Follow the 3 R's: Respect for self, Respect for others & Responsilibity for all your actions
(so important to respect self and others and take responsibility yet it's the hardest to balance all three)4. Remember that not getting what you want is sometmes a wonderful stroke of luck
(Can't be truer than this)5. When you realise you have made a mistake, take immediate steps to correct it
(how immediate should it be?)6. Live a good, honorable life. Then when you get older and think back, you'll be able to enjoy it a second time
(what i always aim for, a life of no regrets)7. Remember that best relationship is one in which your love for each other exceeds your need for each other
Wat Have I Been Up to ?
was reading through my blog, realised i haven't been updating my movements much ever since i'm back frm Cambodia, remembering that i wanted this to function as a diary thingy where i can look back & mused wat i hv busy with these 6 mths ever since the Big shift in my life...
Well, I have trying my best to heal my state of mind...still cant avoid the ups & downs...been good so far and i hope it would continue to be heading towards the right direction.
Celebrated MS P's birthday eating butter crabs and all the yummy food...Went to party with the girls last Friday & next day, I missed seeing the JM's babies' gathering at Lynn's plc cos ur useful fren here basically got wasted.. :/
Went riding with Lulu, both of us agree its something we would want to do despite the $ issue, now waiting for CJ to ride wif us :p ....dont think will give up this sport...Been running too, for year end's marathon...Sun was spent at REAL Run, was really proud of Shy Rainbow! completed 10km and still looking good crossing the line! Can't imagine how excited to see you at the end point :) Now to prep for AHM this sunday..
And, I have been trying to salvage my declining bank account..hopefully can give it a regular boost of Vitamin M soon!
Thots & Feelings
Sometimes i wonder is it possible to compartmentalise everything? then just shut it and never to open again?
Cambodia Photos
Updated in my Albums ---> Enjoy!
珊瑚海
Strange how I like Jay Chou's songs more and more....i used to dislike his mumbling style...(周杰倫) 海平面遠方開始陰霾
悲傷要怎麼平靜純白
我的臉上
始終挾帶
一抹淺淺的無奈
(梁心頤) 你用唇語說你要離開
(心不在
那難過無聲慢了下來
洶湧潮水
你聽明白
不是浪而是淚海
(合) 轉身離開
(你有話說不出來)
分手說不出來
海鳥跟魚相愛
只是一場意外
我們的愛
(給的愛)
差異一直存在
(回不來)
風中塵埃
(等待)
竟累積成傷害
(合) 轉身離開
(分手說不出來)
分手說不出來
蔚藍的珊瑚海
錯過瞬間蒼白
當初彼此
(你我都)
不夠成熟坦白
(不應該)
熱情不再
(你的)
笑容勉強不來
愛深埋珊瑚海
(周杰倫) 毀壞的沙雕如何重來
有裂痕的愛怎麼重蓋
只是一切
結束太快
你說你無法釋懷
(梁心頤) 貝殼裡隱藏什麼期待
(等花兒開)
我們也已經無心再猜
面向海風
鹹鹹的愛
嘗不出還有未來
(合) 轉身離開
(你有話說不出來)
分手說不出來
海鳥跟魚相愛
只是一場意外
我們的愛
(給的愛)
差異一直存在
(回不來)
風中塵埃
(等待)
竟累積成傷害
(合) 轉身離開
(分手說不出來)
分手說不出來
蔚藍的珊瑚海
錯過瞬間蒼白
當初彼此
(你我都)
不夠成熟坦白
(不應該)
熱情不再
(你的)
笑容勉強不來
愛深埋珊瑚海
Cambodia Trip
Last Dec, a group of silly gals gleefully booked the free tickets from AirAsia to Cambodia thinking wah..so cheap its a steal man! not knowing, subsequently, Jetstar operated in Sg & making us feel like silly bargainers who didnt get a good deal :/
Well, its an adventure nonetheless, starting with a van ride from Sg to LCC, we arrived in a resort-like airport terminal in Siem Reap & what greeted us was refreshing...2 tuk tuks to ferry us to our accomm!! we ate dust most of the time as the dirt road was churning with sand with each passing vehicle.
Of course, we did catch Angkor Wat at sunset & sunrise..alongside with many many other tourists..one thing that struck me was that this historical site was not beautifully restored as it should be, crumbling ruins & stones structures laid side by side...
We basically did nothing much except eat & eat & sleep...eat a lot actually, fav pastime there is to read LP and check out the restaurants..
Cambodia is really poor, tugged at our heartstrings at every turn of the corner. Kids were used as tools of begging & these children just stick to u like glue & whined their way til u part with your money. We were a bit fatigued with them & the touting tuk tuk drivers at the end of the trip.
Went to see floating village, had a little misadventure as our tuk tuk nearly landed in the River with us in it :O ...we attracted quite a lot of onlookers & cameras/videos..and everyone cheered when the tuk tuk managed to veer back to the road with Roy & a kind onlooker's help.
Then there's this sweet little girl, who couldnt fight with the bigger kids for candies from us, she went to a corner & sobbed! Von manage to dig out 1 sweet & gave her..she smiled :)
NGOs were plentiful in Cambodia,their job is really meaningful & deserving of our support, majority of them engage in empowering the villagers some skills in sewing, crafting or in hospitality or other manufacturing industries. Check out villageworks or some others if u are keen to support their cause. Villageworks is started by a Singaporean & the Girls Brigade.
Phnom Penh - not nearly as interested as Siem Reap..busy roads/more traffic, poverty not so apparent here...we basically again eat, sleep, eat, sleep..barely walked to burn off the food we ate. Visited the Tonle Sap Lake which looks like a huge reservoir of teh tarik... The only visit worth is to Toul Sleng Museum...which captures the horror of Khmer Rouge and i think every Cambodia bears witness or at least knew of 1 relative or friend who have suffered or died during the Pol Pot's Rrgime... its so so sad..felt so lucky we were born in Singapore which kept us sheltered from civil war, hunger, poverty & hardship...
One last exciting thing happened to us on our way back from KL to Sg. We stopped by a R&R as our driver & companion went to eat...deciding there were time, von, kmin & me went to the toilet, telling Roy to be careful,cos he was alone & sleeping in the van. he grunted and we got down...AFter peeing, we went back to the van & it was just empty slot..eehh...so we searched along the slip road, at the petrol station..SHIT, dun hv! furthermore, we dun hv a single ringgit on us & no HPS!!! we gotta borrow a guy's hp & call a sleepy Roy who was shocked to hear his wife's voice on the other line....all in all, we were an hour behind schedule as the van have to take a big loop to come back for us.
Well, been an interesting & enlightening trip :)
Steps
For every 3 steps forward, i took 2 steps back
4th Trip This Year
Okay, i'm a bit jaded here and felt the lack of excitement that will usually accompany the overseas trip, but thank god for my travel mates, i could never have asked for more. Yes, heading towards the Land of Mines, leaving wee morning from Whitewater...
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Marathon...signed up with the usual people whom, after finishing last yr's maraton, insisted that they will not join this year....i admit i sign up under emotional duress, now regretting slightly but comforted by the tought that there are more people to suffer with me...i actually felt cold all over when i click onto the confirmation...the moment it was done, i was like 'F***, gotta commit to train & suffer again & all the what ifs questions popped into my head '
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Real Run on 20 Aug, got invited to a birthday party :Chinois theme on 19 Aug, should I go? anyone wans to go with me? i'm allowed to bring a girlfriend along...well..i'm being assured there's gonna be SINGLE, rich & cute guys around lah....
Fresh New Month
July has been awfully difficult for me..think it will only get better from this point on..still feel a little unstable & unsure of the future, but i can safely say the rational part of me reigns over the emotional part at last...
Still need the constant reminders & pep talks to keep me on track and not stray off the decision i made, even though it's has been painful & sometimes, uncertain...At last, i'm starting to rest more & better, finish my meals and think logically. Just hope & pray that I will not give way to distractions, need all my strength to focus on healing myself.
Thanks everyone for your care & concern, I would never have pulled through these difficult moments without all of you girls rallying around me...filling my time with all sorts of programs/activities, showering me with words of concern & encouragement even though all of you are unsure wat's happening to me...And you can count on me to be there for you great girls too!
My Overcast Sky will be clearing up, and when that happens..you will know :)
